Online Dating Tips For Men (or Why I Haven’t Met Anyone I Like Yet)


Special Valentine’s Day Edition. Consider this a public service–some helpful tips for men who want to be successful in their online dating ventures, based on my sociological research project that is Online Dating. You’re welcome:

1. Under the category to describe your “Body Type,” be honest. It means what you look like NOW. Not what you’d LIKE to look like. If you’ve posted photos: I. Can. See. You.

2. If you’d like to keep a conversation going, it’s helpful to throw in a question or two, or discuss something that is conducive to a back-and-forth. Asking “How ya doin’?” or simply saying “Good morning” though polite, isn’t going to be that helpful to you–there’s only so far I can take that, and only so many times you can ask. If it’s this hard to have a conversation with you now, when you’re supposedly putting your best foot forward, methinks it’s not going to improve. I really don’t want to go out with you then–because I would likely drink too much and then kiss you only because I’d be bored. And I don’t like waking up bathed in regret.

3. Your company logo and contact information for free estimates should not be prominent in your profile picture. I should not have to explain why.

4. Spell check is your friend. Or should be.

5. Don’t bring a gift on the first date. You may think it’s sweet. It’s actually creepy. Not the same thing.

6. Don’t call your female colleagues “whores” on our first date. It’s a real conversation killer. This also should not need an explanation.

7. Please don’t text me right after I get in my car when the date ends. Unless I’ve accidentally left my purse. And please don’t email every 12 hours asking when I’ll respond. Both instances of eagerness are flattering, but a bit overwhelming.

8. Pay attention to details. If my profile states I’m looking for a specific age range, props to you for trying if you’re a few years over/under my preferred range. However, 20-30 years older is a bit optimistic on your part. You’ll have a better hit rate by respecting stated desires.

9. I appreciate your honesty, but telling me you stay home a lot by yourself and that you’re pretty depressed only makes me want to send you a referral for a psychotherapist. Positive attitudes=attractive.

10. Be kind to the bartender, wait staff and valet attendant. I’m watching you. How you treat them is more telling than how you treat me on a date. It’s more important than what you’re wearing, where you’ve traveled, or what you do for a living. Just be kind, and eventually you’ll find a great fit. Promise. Well, no, I don’t promise. But I’m pretty sure I’m right. The other 9 tips: I promise I’m right on those.

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18 Responses to Online Dating Tips For Men (or Why I Haven’t Met Anyone I Like Yet)

  1. SBB says:

    AMEN, sista!!!


  2. ♡eM says:

    Hilarious! I needed this today, belly laughing. And I’m so thankful I’ve been loving these long many years. I don’t think I could stand the dating game.


    • Glad I could be the source of a smile and some joy! See, these experiences and lessons were not for naught! The dating scene…different but the same. Still not pleasant overall. But strangely, as I continue to grow and learn about myself and what I want and what is good for me, and life, and practicing…everything…I look forward to the good and bad, because I love the new knowledge on the other side. Despite some of the horror stories, I’m so grateful for each of these experiences.


  3. You should really start a blog or website for “Social Skills for Men”! Its soooo simple, yet soooo hard to execute at the same time 🙂 Loved your post!


    • Thanks!! Isn’t that always the case for everything in life–so simple yet soo hard?? I say simple can still be difficult–it may be a straightforward thing, not complex. Yet be hard to do, uncomfortable, not pleasant, not easy… But yes, Social Skills Group–I can run them like the groups 15 years ago!


  4. Hydro says:

    I swear I commented on this post before… but all these tips are awesome! I really dig the blog.



    • Thank you!! Thank you for both commenting on the post and liking the blog–so glad you enjoy it!! Unfortunately for me, I’m compiling enough “Tips” for yet another blog post–I may need to do a social skills seminar for men after all! I used to scoff at the concept of Dating Coaches, but now I see the value in them! Hm…perhaps second career for me?? 🙂


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