There seems to be a recent movement against striving for perfection, and instead embracing who we are. I love this idea. What I don’t like is how it’s being framed in much of the media. I’m bombarded by articles with titles such as: “Learn to Love Your Flaws.” But see, I think calling them flaws is part of the problem.
How about “Learn to Love All of You?” Calling something a flaw presupposes there is an ideal or perfection that you’ve failed to meet. So even if you embrace or love or accept your flaws, you’re always thinking you’re one down. That there is something wrong with you. Something not right, something not perfect, something broken, something flawed. The dictionary defines a flaw as: “an imperfection or weakness and especially one that detracts from the whole or hinders effectiveness.” So you’re proclaiming you inherently have a weakness or you’re broken, and not whole.
I don’t accept this. There’s nothing wrong with you or me or my child or your brother. We’re all just very different, yet so much the same. We have different shapes and densities and colors and sizes. We have different temperments and preferences and styles and abilities. We all sometimes yell too much, miscommunicate, hurt people, forget things. Sure, we can all stand for some improvement in more than one realm of our lives and selves. But striving for better does not need to be predicated on the belief that there is something wrong with you.
Learn to love every nook and cranny of You. Don’t love yourself despite your flaws. Love all of you, period. The good, the not-so-good, the ugly, the funny, the messy, the sparkly–all of you. There’s nothing wrong with any part of you, because all of those parts make up you. If there is no perfection, there is no flaw–there’s just a lot of differences and a lot of shades of grey. I posit we must alter the entire premise of this well-intended movement of increasing self-esteem and embracing reality. The reality is there is nothing wrong with you. Just embrace yourself. Love all of you, period.