What’s Wrong With You?


There seems to be a recent movement against striving for perfection, and instead embracing who we are. I love this idea. What I don’t like is how it’s being framed in much of the media. I’m bombarded by articles with titles such as: “Learn to Love Your Flaws.” But see, I think calling them flaws is part of the problem.

How about “Learn to Love All of You?” Calling something a flaw presupposes there is an ideal or perfection that you’ve failed to meet. So even if you embrace or love or accept your flaws, you’re always thinking you’re one down. That there is something wrong with you. Something not right, something not perfect, something broken, something flawed. The dictionary defines a flaw as: “an imperfection or weakness and especially one that detracts from the whole or hinders effectiveness.” So you’re proclaiming you inherently have a weakness or you’re broken, and not whole.

I don’t accept this. There’s nothing wrong with you or me or my child or your brother. We’re all just very different, yet so much the same. We have different shapes and densities and colors and sizes. We have different temperments and preferences and styles and abilities. We all sometimes yell too much, miscommunicate, hurt people, forget things. Sure, we can all stand for some improvement in more than one realm of our lives and selves. But striving for better does not need to be predicated on the belief that there is something wrong with you.

Learn to love every nook and cranny of You. Don’t love yourself despite your flaws. Love all of you, period. The good, the not-so-good, the ugly, the funny, the messy, the sparkly–all of you. There’s nothing wrong with any part of you, because all of those parts make up you. If there is no perfection, there is no flaw–there’s just a lot of differences and a lot of shades of grey. I posit we must alter the entire premise of this well-intended movement of increasing self-esteem and embracing reality. The reality is there is nothing wrong with you. Just embrace yourself. Love all of you, period.

This entry was posted in Empowerment, Meditation, Mindfulness and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to What’s Wrong With You?

  1. Great post! I once wrote a blog about why dieting is like the Westminster Dog Show. 🙂 We cannot judge ourselves against others, only against our own standard according to God’s Rule book. Am I the best person I can be today? There was only one perfect person who ever lived, Christ and I am not Him. I strive for excellence not perfection because I realize that to not reach perfection only became an “all or nothing” mind-set to me and I saw myself as a failure, which in God’s eyes I am not. No one is Junk to Him, we all have value. Blessings,


    • Thank you so much!! Thanks for expanding on this with such great thoughts. Yes, I agree the goal is to do the best each of us can at any given time. And indeed, we are not failures in any sense. It’s so easy to get caught up in these “dog shows” and compare and compete against each other as well as artificial goals. And we all do have value. Thank you!!!


  2. Thanks for a wonderful reminder that perfection is such an irrational concept.


    • You’re most welcome! It’s great to hear from you, I was actually just thinking about you the other day! I hope you are well!
      We as humans grasp on to irrational concepts and ideas so tightly, and so often, don’t we??


      • Thanks for the nice words, and yes I’m perfectly well, and you?

        It seems we need some irrationality to keep our collective sanity, though this “perfectionism” is not one of our most endearing concepts.

        We bothers me most though is how seem to portray love as irrational. This is odd given that no one can truly define . . . and that’s a very good thing!

        Take care. 🙂


  3. ♡eM says:

    Good thoughts you’ve gotten me to think! Thanks!


  4. Thank you. I needed this tonight. Much positive energy and love to you 🙂


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