Turkey time!! People have their favorite ways of thawing their turkey, preparing their turkey, eating leftover turkey. But do you have a favorite way of avoiding an aggressive urban turkey attack?
Really. If not, you should. Especially if you live in Brookline, Massachusetts (or if you have a friends who does), you are well aware of a rising population of feathered fowl gangs who are taking the holiday and town back with their waddling and gobbling and attacking . It’s apparently not a new thing. NPR reported on this in 2006. It’s made the news plenty of times (really, just Google it) . And a Brookline Tom Turkey even has his own Twitter handle.
So what’s a patriotic red-blooded American to do about this urban plight? Go turkey hunting, of course. Devin D. Marks was flabbergasted when he first saw wild turkeys in his own backyard in Brookline soon after he moved from Lexington, Kentucky two years ago. “Weirdest dern thing,” he said. His initial reaction was to reach for his Kentucky long rifle, and pluck and stuff his dinner. Shooting a firearm, however, would not have endeared him to his new neighbors. This is not the kind of reputation you want when trying to set up playdates for your daughter.
What is there to do then, when your feathers are ruffled and you’re up in arms over good fowl going foul? Locals have complained, taken pictures, gawked, talked to the local authorities. But the most useful, and fun, resolution it seems, is an Urban Turkey Hunt Club. Marks is organizing the first annual hunt club to strategize how best to address this problem, while killing one bottle of Wild Turkey bourbon at every meeting. And by “strategizing,” he means drinking, laughing and bonding for a good cause–a portion of the proceeds will go to a worthy non-profit. Clearly, the urban turkeys will feel cold fear in their hearts and the urban hunters will feel warm cheer in theirs.
Seems the most reasonable, and most humane way, to deal with Wild Turkeys. The event fee covers annual membership, a bourbon tasting flight, and a cigar. (Word is, a “hunter’s” breakfast menu will be offered for an additional cost with a turkey side dish.) All firearms must remain at home. Flasks are welcome; hunting garb is strongly encouraged. How else to chase Wild Turkeys off bourbon shelves?
The inaugural meeting of the Brookline chapter will meet Tuesday, November 24, at SUNNY BOY in Washington Square, 8:00 PM. Tickets are available online, via www.UrbanTurkeyHuntClub.com