“When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.”
When Death Comes–Mary Oliver
I’m a single mom, so bride no more. But this blog is about living life married to amazement. To embracing the world in your arms. To not letting fear dictate your fate. To doing hard things. To being brave and scared simultaneously. To living life out loud. To experiencing, with every pore of our beings, every joy and pain and celebration and tear and confusion and ambivalence and fear and love–fully. To acknowledging that we’re all a little messy inside, some way, some how. And we’re all deserving of love and kindness. To normalizing all of that. To connecting with you in our fears and inadequacies and beauty and courage.
I am a writer, a psychotherapist, a thirsty wine appreciator, a single Mama to two, a runner, a drummer, a general troublemaker, and frequently inappropriate. My mission in life is to help people get out of their own way. I live in the Spaces In Between.
I write about relationships: with your family, with your friends, with your significant others/dates/intimate partners, with yourself, with your community, with the world at large. These connections are who we are. It is in these relationships that we make a difference in this world. It is these connections that are our legacies. I know this to be true because for most of my life I could not authentically connect and be vulnerable. I write about my reflections on and struggles with all of this–the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Thank you for stopping by. Thank you for reading what I think are words of wisdom and humor, as I stumble through life and learn and laugh and love and cry. Thank you for letting me in to your life for those few moments. Enjoy, and please leave feedback of any sort. Here’s to a brave life well lived.
My work has been featured on several websites, blogs, newsletters, including but not limited to:
Huffington Post as a regular contributor!
Momastery’s Messy Beautiful Warrior Project
Omaha Sun Times
The Body Is Not An Apology here on self-image, and here on bullying.
Holy Cross Abbey newsletter
Dying Matters
Grief Link
Lawyers Review Blog
Best Attorneys Network
Patricia DeJohn, MA
Dream Big, Dream Often
Divorced Dallas
The Needs
Suddenly Slimmer
UltraDrift
likev.net
Pinoria News
AGReGate
Drag Plus42 Lawyers
Gang Upon
JetGeo
Must Stay Fit
Arctic Post
FWT News 6 Paper
Sahifa
EuroMarket News
BonneVivanteLife 
I’m truly enjoying your blog posts.
Many thanks!
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Thank you so very much, Midge! That means a lot!!
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I have ‘met’ so many amazing folks in this blogging community… I’ve nominated you for a Liebster Award. If you choose (or have time) to accept, here are the directions: http://mommyverbs.wordpress.com/2012/12/26/award-paying-it-forward/
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I’m glad I stumbled upon your blog, we seem to have a lot in common in the eating world. Hope you stop by hungryoga as well!
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Thank you so much for stopping by and following me!! I’m honored!!
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Bonjour “bonne vivante”! 🙂 glad to have come across your awesome blog! Do you speak French?… 🙂 my very best and friendly thoughts from Toulouse, France… cheers! 🙂 Mélanie
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Thank you so much!!! LOL, no I don’t speak French at all! I started this blog with a friend, and she chose the name…she’s since bowed out so it’s mine, but too late to change the name! I hope you’re still pleased with my blog nonetheless!!
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Hi there, I found your blog (and great post about resilience) through the HoCo social media stream, and it looks like you live in Howard County. We’d love to have your blog listed on HoCoBlogs.com; it’s free to be listed – http://hocoblogs.com/submit_blog.html
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Oh wow, thanks so much! I’d be honored to have my blog listed, thank you! And thank you for your kind words about my blog! I had no idea of this resource–I’ll have to check it out and get acquainted with my local fellow bloggers!! Thank you!
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Greetings!
I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. Please see the link below for the nomination. Thank you, and hope you have an amazing day!
Mercedita
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Oh my goodness, thank you so much!! I am so humbled and honored. Thank you!! xoxo-
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You are welcome. 😊
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I think they’re words of wisdom and humor too. 🙂 And what an awesome mission statement for a blog! I’ve resolved to visit and comment on a positive blog every day of 2014, and so far it has been a fascinating journey. Good to meet you!
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Meg, thank you so very much!! I am so grateful to meet you!! What a wonderful mission for 2014! Please do share your finds!! I am quite flattered you enjoy my blog, thank you!!
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Feel free to browse my finds — they’re posted on this page: http://megevans.com/random-kindness-blog-tour
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Oh wow, this is awesome, thank you!!! Now I need to find the time to go through them all!! I really admire your goal and your work!!!
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So much beauty in your writing shows me the beauty in your soul. What an inspiring blog, something good for my soul. Every woman needs to hear another inspiring womans journey to give hope and to pave a road for the rest of us to follow.
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Thank you for such touching words! I am so humbled. I am honored that you feel my words and thoughts can provide hope and happiness for your soul. Truly, I am so touched. Thank you! I am grateful for our connection–we all pave the way together! 🙂
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Thank you for stopping by at my blog and for the like. More blessing!!!
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But of course! 🙂 You are not only so positive, but so prolific in putting such positive energy out into the world! Thank YOU!
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Wry grin. I like the “frequently inappropriate”. Rockin’ self-intro.
HW
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Haha!! Thanks!!
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I just found your blog the other day, and it looks really interesting. I’m really looking forward to following along!
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Thank you!! And likewise!! And I have to admit–I love the name of your blog 🙂
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Thanks! It seemed like the most appropriate name for my blog as I’ve lived my life “perfectly” so why wouldn’t I also try to have a “perfect” breakdown?
Thanks for the reminder that I still need to write a post or at least add that to my about page. 🙂
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My friend, I’ve nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. 🙂 http://rantsandruns.com/2014/07/05/very-inspiring-blogger-award/
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Oh thank you so very much!! I am humbled by this honor, thank you!!!
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You’re welcome! 🙂
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After tweeting your blog about Does your bullying make me look fat? I thought to tell you my story, which I think will be of interest to you and your followers.
I have written a children’s book, Made By Raffi, inspired by true-life incident that will be released this summer. It is story of a little boy who doesn’t care for sports but likes to knit and sew — at first he is teased for his hobby, but in the end he becomes a hero to his class. The book is being published in five languages and distributed in eight countries so far by UK publishers Frances Lincoln under their diversity imprint, Janetta Otter-Barry Books. Award-winning artist Margaret Chamberlain is the illustrator.
I wrote the book to support young boys and girls who are perceived as “different” because of their appearance or hobbies. It is a funny colorful book with a serious message and will interest those who care about promoting diversity and embracing our differences, as well as all children seeking to fit in.
I have really become interested in the idea of how we tell our kids what is appropriate activity, based on gender. Most of the parents of young kids I know are trying on one hand to let their kids follow their own interests, but on the other are concerned about their kid fitting in and not being teased. As a result, atypical hobbies and behaviors are only encouraged so far.
In my research, I have found some shocking stories:
Recently, a principal told a boy he could not bring his “My Little Pony” lunchbox to school because it was a “trigger” for teasing and bullying.
The same week a girl was expelled from a Christian school because of her short hair, perceived masculine look and interest in sports.
Recently a woman in Portland killed her child of four because she thought he “acted, walked and spoke like a gay person.”
On the other hand, I have already received terrific early trade reviews and many supportive messages from those who have seen advance copies of the book as well as from those who have ordered.
I was recently forwarded this email from a man in Istanbul: “Today I enjoyed to preorder your beautiful and meaningful children book for my cousin. Especially here in Turkey we need to learn respect to the one who is different than us. Thanks for your effort to make the world a better place to live. Best regards, ”
Might this be a topic you would want to explore on your website? I am available for interviews or background conversation on the topic or I can write a blog post to keep the conversation going.
http://www.amazon.com/Made-Raffi-Craig-Pomranz/dp/1847804330 Made By Raffi is available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNobles.
If you need any more information I can be reached at this email and on twitter @MadeByRaffi.
I would appreciate your feedback on this new venture and very important topic.
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Craig-
Thank you so much for re-tweeting my post! I’m glad it resonated with you. I love that you’ve written a book that is enthusiastically received! I agree whole-heartedly with your message. I have always told my kids there is no such thing as “boy” or “girl” colors, activities, clothes, etc. That everyone has their own unique preferences and we need to respect that. I refuse to allow my children to alter their behaviors/preferences to avoid being bullied. I have heard of all those stories you cited, and it saddens me. I would love for this conversation to continue. I’d be honored to have you write a guest post for my blog!! Let’s connect: bonnevivantelife@gmail.com
In the meantime, I’m going to get the book for my kids!! 🙂
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Amazing blog! I just started blogging with my sister a couple of weeks ago and this blog is really inspirational! ^_^ I really enjoy your posts, I will definitely follow your blog!
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Thank you so much!!! Good luck with your blog with your sister, and I look forward to reading yours!
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I don’t know why I never commented before. I love your blog, wisdom, insight and humble reflections. This is an awesome intro page! To living out loud, reaching, falling and being inappropriate. I’ll have to work on that last one, along with a little more play and adventure. Thanks! 🙂
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Aw, thank you!! Oh my, I don’t think inappropriate behavior is actually one of my strengths, it’s just part of my charm! 😉 haha! And yes to more play and adventure!!
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LOL 🙂
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I love your About Me quote and your attitude to life. Thanks for liking my post, so I could find your blog!
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Thank YOU so much for the kind words, and for following me! I look forward to reading more of yours!
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Your efforts to continue with all the wonderful parts of your life, which seem to far outweigh the number of difficult parts, is a testimony to the importance of perspective, which can only be attained after enduring the many different varieties of experience possible in life. Each of us will eventually experience cause for grief in our lives, but no one of us has the same experience in this regard, and we cannot know precisely what it is like for someone else to experience it.
What we CAN appreciate is the benefit derived from acknowledging that, while life can never be the same as it once was, it is still worth living and growing and experiencing what is to come.
There is equal cause for joy in life, even after such profound grief, but we must allow ourselves the chance to hope for such joy before we can expect it to manifest in our lives. Your example is an inspiration to your readers, and I am glad that you visited my blog, so I could be inspired as well.
Warm regards…..John H.
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Thank you so much for both the kind, supportive words, and your wisdom. Growing, experiencing, joy, hope–yes, yes, yes, and yes. It has been a long and hard journey to be open to all of the pains and joys, truly and deeply. And it’s a wonderful ride 🙂 Thank you for taking the time to make such meaningful comments. I look forward to read more of your work and continue to be inspired by you as well!
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Really enjoyed my visits here and will do it more often – when I read your “about” annnnnd my eyes catch the word “drummer” – in my ‘younger’ days I use to drum too, in a band – a perfect way of ‘relaxing’… 🙂
Enjoy your day… 😀
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But of course! Of course there are many reasons we resonate with each other! 😉 Wishing you well and looking forward to more from you!
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I always enjoy your post, and I want to let you know how lovely your blog is, and how inspiring it is.
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Oh my goodness, thank you so very much for both the kind, supportive words, and the award nomination!! I truly appreciate it. I write in the hopes my words resonate with someone, so it feels good to know I’m successful 🙂 Thank you again, and always, for your support!!
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Your words do resonate and we can relate so much! Keep shining!
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Nicely written. Love your honest reflections that we can all identify with. Thank you for stopping at my blog too😊
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Thank you so much!!
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You write beautifully 🙂 I am looking forward to read more from you! 🙂
Ishu
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Oh thank you very much!!! I really appreciate you stopping by and letting me share some moments of my life with you!
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🙂 Have a great day ahead!
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Hi Dr. Sung, I am creating a cover for my novel called, Love Song. Wondering if I need permission to use the photo of the guitarist on stage at a rock concert you posted back in 2015, The background to the photo is blue from the following post. I don;t see a copyright symbol but thought I’d check to be sure. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/10-life-lessons-learned-from-being-a-rock-star_b_6649820
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Hi, I am so sorry I’m just seeing this now. I am sure you have already chosen an appropriate image. Congratulations on your novel! If still needed, no permission is needed for the photo. Best to you!
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