Author Archives: bonnevivantelife

Roots and Wings

Posted on August 28, 2021 by bonnevivantelife

The pile in the living room is getting larger. The mini fridge. The laundry bag. The desk lamp. The XL twin sheets (what in the fresh hell is this??) The box of snacks and ramen. The cleaning supplies (who are … Continue reading →

Posted in Parenting, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Foreigner in My Own Country

Posted on March 19, 2021 by bonnevivantelife

Weeks before the Atlanta spa shootings, someone asked if I felt safe, if my family felt safe. She was asking as a check-in during a steady escalation of violence and harassment of Asians in America. I told her that when … Continue reading →

Posted in Empowerment, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

The Burden of Choice

Posted on May 20, 2019 by bonnevivantelife

I’m 45 years old, and I am both ecstatic and dismayed that I have one more student loan payment left. I received my graduate degree in 1997. It’s been a while. It also took me a while to understand why … Continue reading →

Posted in Empowerment, Mindfulness, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Box Full of Darkness

Posted on January 18, 2019 by bonnevivantelife

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” -Mary Oliver, The Uses of Sorrow Mary Oliver, a poet who once said poetry mustn’t be fancy, … Continue reading →

Posted in Mindfulness, Relationships | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

When Rice is Love

Posted on October 28, 2018 by bonnevivantelife

Twenty four years ago, my parents gave me an old 3-cup rice cooker, National brand. It was rusty on the outside, but it did the job. They loaded me up with used furniture, an Ikea piece or two, mismatched kitchenware, … Continue reading →

Posted in Mindfulness, Parenting | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Active Shooter Lockdown at my Children’s Schools: My Response

Posted on October 26, 2018 by bonnevivantelife

“Please talk with your children about what happened and reassure them that there are strategies in place both at home and school to ensure safety.” — Part of the note from the school principal after an active shooter lockdown. (Note: … Continue reading →

Posted in Empowerment | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Getting Arrested Changed My Life

Posted on October 14, 2018 by bonnevivantelife

My daughter is deeply disappointed in me. She does not think it’s fitting to have any criminal record. She understands why I’ve recently turned to a scofflaw life, but she does not approve. It has taken almost 45 years to … Continue reading →

Posted in Empowerment | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Where are you from?

Posted on August 27, 2018 by bonnevivantelife

“North Jersey, right outside of NYC,” I’d always reply. I know what people mean when they ask me. Inevitably, they always follow up with “No, I mean where are you REALLY from?” At which point I’d say, “Oh, right. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Empowerment, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#winning at What Cost?

Posted on August 23, 2018 by bonnevivantelife

I’ve learned to listen to my gut. So when I first started hearing students and teachers describe a certain coach with certain words, it struck me as interesting, and I tucked it away. Fast forward to a year later, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Empowerment, Parenting | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Bearable Lightness of Being

Posted on June 7, 2018 by bonnevivantelife

  I never quite know who I’m coming home to. There are two human beings in middle school who have the keys to the house and full run of the refrigerator. But I don’t know who I’ll encounter when I … Continue reading →

Posted in Mindfulness, Parenting | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments